I hope I’m well enough to get my Improv book done this week. I’m starting to get nervous.

I do have something to share today - Sarah-Lee Terrat of YeloDog Design gave me this gorgeous Underwood typewriter!

Holy crap! Am I right? The thing is a beauty.

I am beside myself over Sarah-Lee’s generosity and I’m on standby in the event that she wishes to take it back (and she should). I really suck at accepting gifts from people.

I have wanted a typewriter so I can type labels for my three library card catalogs. It seems only right to not use technology on this job. In fact, I’m loving the idea of making artists’ books with typed pages. Now I just need to buy a ribbon…

This week’s winning entry is…

…number 5!

Congrats to Velma!

This week’s themes are as follows:

• The best holiday that doesn’t exist: don’t go to work day
• A fashion trend that should go mainstream: bras that feel good
• An inedible object that looks tasty: printer’s ink

I’d like to take this opportunity to respond to some of the entries:

• I’d celebrate that: it’s to damn cold to go out
• I’d wear that: down-filled panties
• I’d totally eat that: clouds, glass marbles, baby feet, and sea anemones

The Book Arts Improv grand prize winner will be drawn on Monday, January 30th – the prize is a set of books that includes one of each of the four books created during the Improv.

Everyone who has posted suggestions for the past four weeks will be entered into the drawing. If you have participated in the Improv for more than one week, each week’s post will count as one entry – if you’ve been following me for four weeks, then your odds are better.

Come back to see this week’s completed book on Saturday and find out who wins the grand prize on Monday!

Here we are in the last week of the Book Arts Improv – it has been a roller coaster! My studio is a total disaster. Enough of a disaster that I won’t take a picture of it. Ugh.

I hereby enter a state of denial.

[Denial]

Ah…much better.

Here are the suggestions for this week:

1. The best holiday that doesn’t exist
2. A fashion trend that should go mainstream
3. An inedible object that looks tasty

To participate in the Improv, just comment on this post with a response for each of the three categories listed above. I’d like to keep this suitable for all audiences, so please, nothing offensive.

I will accept suggestions until 5:00 p.m. EST on Tuesday, January 24, 2012. On that day, one entry will be selected at random and not only will that person’s suggestions be used for that week’s book, but the winner will also receive a copy of the book.

This week is also your last chance to get an entry in for the big prize – a set of books that includes each of the four books created during the Improv.

Everyone who has posted suggestions for each week will be entered into a drawing (one entry per person, per week). If you have participated in the Improv for more than one week, each week’s post will count as one entry – if you’ve been following me for four weeks, then your odds are better.

One more thing – if the grand prize winner has already won one of the books earlier in the month, then I’ll send the remaining three books in the set. Another drawing will then be held for the remaining book. Hopefully that all makes sense.

Good luck to everyone!

Here are the themes I was working with this week:

• A sign that you’re a grownup: Cholesterol tests
  
• Something that should never be a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade: The Christmas Poo from South Park
  
• A scary place: Any shopping mall on Dec. 24

In considering the three themes, I realized how they could all be tied together with crap – it really was only a matter of time before I created a crappy book.

The crap theme is even more appropriate considering that every other conversation I have with Wiggum is “Do you have to poop? Let’s go out. It’s time to poop.”

Here’s the finished product – a book entitled Little Known Facts About Crap:

The covers are made of butt-shaped bookboard and were covered with Chinese silk bookcloth. The inset was printed in Book Antiqua on a transparency sheet.

The basic structure is a flag book – the spine is made of card stock folded like a paper fan and rows of flags are attached to opposing sides of the folds.

The flags were cut from Canson Mi-Teintes paper in lovely shades of poo. I printed the text of the book on transparency sheets and adhered the pieces to the flags.

The original plan was to do a text transfer on toilet paper, which would then be attached to the flags. Unfortunately, that didn’t work well. Then I tried to do a transfer with Unryu. Didn’t work. Then I considered printing the text on vellum, but I couldn’t find it in my disaster of a studio.

The thought of using transparencies was totally by accident – I had them out so I could use them for a class I’m teaching next week. Had I actually cleaned up after myself earlier in the week, I wouldn’t have had the idea. As if I needed another reason to not clean my studio…

Here’s the complete text of the book (from left to right, top to bottom):

If you crap your pants, Mr. Hankey will appear and congratulate you.

Holy crap can be repaired with duct tape.

Cutting the crap is easier with sharp scissors.

Crapola is a delicious Italian specialty.

When you’re full of crap, there’s no room for pizza.

Your television will crap out on you whenever you’re watching a season finale.

If you don’t pass your cholesterol test, the nurse will kick the crap out of you.

The game craps is played with actual pieces of crap.

CRAP is an acronym for can’t retain all products.

One day, I’ll get my crap together.

More people buy crap for gifts at malls on the day before Christmas than on any other day of the year.

The contents of this book – total crap.

The insides of the covers were lined with Canson Mi-Teintes.

Just like my first Improv book, DOs and DONTs for Not Being a Dumbass, I incorporated a pocket in the back of the book to hold the colophon. I liked the transparencies so much, I also used them for the colophon. This book will be printed in a limited edition of 7 copies.

I’ll be posting the new (and last) Improv themes tomorrow, so be sure to come back if you’d like to enter the weekly drawing.

I’m looking forward to week four!

Starting today, Friday, January 20th and lasting through January 29th is Artisans Hand Craft Gallery‘s annual winter sale. The gallery exclusively features work created by Vermont artisans. The sale offers items from 10% – 20% off, with each artist setting their own discount.

All of my work in the gallery will be offered at 20% off during the sale.

In addition, artists have brought in their seconds, experiments, and discontinued pieces and are offering them at discount prices during the sale. When you look at the seconds, you really can’t even see any defects (they’re more like birthmarks). This is your chance to get fabulous work at even more fabulous prices.

I’ll be heading there tomorrow…maybe I’ll see you there!

Artisans Hand Craft Gallery
89 Main Street, City Center
Montpelier, VT 05602
(802) 229-9492

Help me get to the gallery

But I did it.

Nothing tangible has been made because I still need to go shopping, but here are some hints about where I’m going:

• Crap (one of my favorite themes)
• Flag book
• Shaped covers
• Pink bookcloth

 See you on Saturday!

Now that I’m all finished with my book from last week, I can focus on this week’s winning entry…

…number 7!

Congrats to Leslie!

This week’s themes are as follows:

• A sign that you’re a grownup: Cholesterol tests
  
• Something that should never be a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade: The Christmas Poo from South Park
  
• A scary place: Any shopping mall on Dec. 24

The last call for suggestions will be posted on Sunday, January 22nd and they will be completely different from those posted this week.

Come back to see this week’s completed book on Saturday!

So I finally finally finished the second book for this year’s Book Arts Improv. I’m disappointed that I missed my deadline. Of course, it’s a self-imposed deadline, so I’m going to cut myself a break.

Here are the themes I was working with this week:

• The eighth deadly sin: Politics
  
• An unfortunate name for a children’s movie: Shaun the Sheep
• Something your parents told you, but you wish they hadn’t: There is no Santa Claus

Here’s the finished product – a book entitled Shaun the Sheep:

The covers are made of Sherpa craft fur and lined with natural-colored Unryu. The feet are accented with bits of black felt.

I printed the text pages using Book Antiqua on Mohawk Superfine 28 lb. writing paper in white eggshell. The book was bound using the longstitch binding with unwaxed, natural linen thread. I hate to admit it, but this was the first time I had ever done the longstitch binding. It was pretty easy, but I don’t recommend using Sherpa craft fur – it’s too bendy.

Here’s the complete text of the book:

Shaun the sheep did not like Sheldon the sheep.

He thought that Sheldon was shifty, shallow, and a total shithead. Obviously he was in politics.

Shaun really wanted Sheldon to shut up. He wanted it so badly it made him shiver.

Shaun and Sheldon were friends when they were kids and Shaun resented Sheldon ever since the day he told them there was no Santa Claus.

Shameless.

And Sheldon continued with his shenanigans.

Shaun would give him shelter when his shabby shed needed repairs.

Sheldon left his home in shambles and left Shaun shaken.

Shaun felt like he was always in Sheldon’s shadow.

Sheldon was shrewd with the ladies.

He would schmooze as needed to get a sheep in between the sheets.

Sadly, Shaun was shy. He loved Sheila the sheep.

He couldn’t shore up his courage to talk to her. In Shaun’s eyes, Sheila was shiny.

One day, Sheldon set his sights on Sheila. He eyed her like a shark.

Shaun was shocked. He shuddered and shrieked.

Then a plan took shape. It was time for a shakedown.

He took the shortcut to Sheldon’s house. He shimmied through the front door. He called to Sheldon, who was in the shower.

Sheldon appeared – he was freshly shaven. He was shorter than Shaun had remembered.

“I’m not sharing Sheila with you!” Shaun shouted.

Sheldon was sorry and it showed. It wasn’t a sham.

Shaun smiled.

And shot Sheldon six times.

He wrapped him up in a sheet, shoveled an 8 foot hole in the ground, and shoved him in.

And Shaun lived happily ever after.

This book will be printed in a limited edition of 10 copies.

Here’s hoping that the third week will go more smoothly!

Welcome to week 3 of the Book Arts Improv!

Ugh. Last week.

I guess it was going to happen sooner or later.

In the spirit of a clean slate, here are the new suggestions:

1. A sign that you’re a grownup.
2. Something that should never be a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade.
3. A scary place.

To participate in the Improv, just comment on this post with a response for each of the three categories listed above. I’d like to keep this suitable for all audiences, so please, nothing offensive.

I will accept suggestions until 5:00 p.m. EST on Tuesday, January 17, 2012. On that day, one entry will be selected at random and not only will that person’s suggestions be used for that week’s book, but the winner will also receive a copy of the book.

Good luck!

Technical difficulties.

I had planned to complete the book yesterday, but my computer went kablammo. There were at least 20 incidences of googletalkplugin.exe running on my computer and it slowed down everything to a grinding halt. I spent a chunk of yesterday working on the problem.

To say that it was aggravating is putting it mildly. I am so disappointed to not be able to make my deadline.

And seriously, I’m just pissed.

But my sister, niece, and nephew are visiting this weekend for my birthday (tomorrow), so I’m back to being a happy duck. My niece likes to make books so I’m going to teach her the binding I’m using on my Improv book – this is why I have high hopes for completing the book tomorrow.

So to give you an update, the binding and materials have all been chosen and the story is completely written. The lack of a functioning computer held me up because I couldn’t format and print the pages.

I will post next week’s suggestions tomorrow, as scheduled.

Poo.